Racial tension wasn’t the only issue George and Betty were struggling with at the time.  They didn’t talk about it much in front of me, but I read Betty’s diary:

                “October 4, 1957,

“The Soviet Union actually did it.  They successfully launched something into space.  It’s a satellite they named Sputnik.  The president is actually praising it, saying that it will help establish the “freedom of space” or some garbage, but does he remember what country he’s talking about?  The Soviet Union cares nothing about freedom, but only about themselves. 

“They’ll be dropping bombs on us next from way up there.  They’ll sneak bombs up on those small satellites, claiming it’s research or something, then release the bombs when we’re not expecting it.  But the government’s not worried.  It’s like they were expecting it or something.

“Apparently it ‘talks.’  The radio played it chirping as it crossed over the United States.  We were told that it was a harmless beep.  Just something that the satellite is beeping to make it known that it’s there.  I bet it’s recording information on the United States to send back to the Soviet Union.  It’s spying on us, and our government’s not doing a darn thing about it!”

***

“October 7, 1957

“The radio said we might be able to see it in the sky tonight, so George and I went out at dusk to watch for it.  We didn’t see it.  Maybe it can hide from us, too.”

***

“October 12, 1957

“Finally got to see Sputnik.  It was my turn with the binoculars and it was a tiny white dot traveling across the sky.  I gasped and told George, and he snapped the binoculars right out of my hands and then couldn’t even find it before it disappeared into the horizon.  I thought I could maybe see it even without the binoculars since I knew where to look, but couldn’t be sure.

“The thought of that piece of metal – no, worse, machinery – up there flying around in space still causes me to tremble.  If it had bombs, I’m sure it would have dropped them by now, but what if it falls from the sky on my head?  What if that’s just a decoy, and they are going to send another that does carry bombs but claim it’s just as empty as this one?

“Will I ever feel safe again?”

I could see Betty’s worry in the dark bags forming under her eyes.  In the extra lines creasing her face.  In the way she’d brush her hair over and over absently, staring at me, but seeing nothing, her mouth in a tight line.  It was always worse at night. 

Sometimes, she’d toss and turn in her sleep.  George, too, would jerk in his sleep more often than before, but never as bad as Betty.  It wasn’t uncommon for her to let out a half-yell and sit up from her sleep, her hand on her chest.  She’d look around, breathing hard, then force herself to lay back down.

One day, while she and George were getting ready for the day, they talked about the bomb drill that the children had done at school the day before.  Betty’s hands were shaking as she asked if it had really been necessary. 

“Hopefully not, but it’s always best to be prepared,” was George’s answer as he walked out the door, tying his tie as he went.

Betty turned back to me.  She put her hand over her chest and took a few deep breaths.  Her pearl necklace rose and fell with more calm than she did during the night.  Her eyes were clouded with worry.

I began to wonder, too.  What would happen to me in the near future?  I knew I wouldn’t feel any pain – I’m just wood, glass, and silver – but still.  Would I be taken away and sent to live with another family?  Would my glass be shattered and my wood splintered?  Would the bombs Betty kept talking about incinerate me on impact?

And, most importantly, what would happen to my family?  I had been with them through the generations.  I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to them now.

Barbara passed away young.  Her children say it was heart break.  I tend to agree with them.  I was moved into Betty’s home, with her husband, George.  They seemed happy overall, but George tended to get angry quickly and over small things.  Fortunately, he tended to calm down just as quick.  He never hit anyone, and he used few words when angry.

One thing that got him worked up was something he called “civil rights.”  It was also one of the few things he and Betty didn’t agree on.

“Can you believe that Negro woman wouldn’t give up her seat on the bus?” Betty asked one night while brushing her hair.  She was brushing roughly, her teeth almost grinding together.  “The nerve of some people.  I mean, if I was getting on that bus, I’d expect a Negro to give up their seat for me.  There I’d be – a hardworking, white woman.  I’d have the right to sit down!”

“Well, she was tired,” George said, “Shouldn’t she have rights, too?”

“Would you rather I stand and let a Negro sit?”

George paused from hanging up his suit coat.  “Well, as my wife, I’d certainly hope you got a chance to sit if you ever needed to take a bus.  But as my wife, we have a car.  So hopefully you won’t ever have to take the bus.”

“George, you’re missing the point!”

George slammed the hanger down on the pole in the closet.  The coat rocked back and forth, trying to hang on.

“The point is she was there first.  She was leaving work and she was tired, too.  Why should she get booted just because someone else is tired?  She was on the bus first, she got the seat first.”

“But she’s Negro.”

“And you’re white. What does it matter?  You’re both hardworking, American women.”  By this time, George was walking around the room, his arms gesturing wildly.  “Why does skin color matter?  I bet if we cut you open, and her open, you’d both bleed red.  Why does the outside matter so much?”

Betty slammed the hairbrush down.  That stung a little on my wood, but I much preferred the wood being hit to my glass. 

“Because I’m better than she is!”

“Why?  Do you know her personally?”

“Because I’m white!”

“White, shmite.  I don’t care what color you are.  If you call yourself a Christian woman that you should ‘love your neighbor as yourself,’ and that includes people who are a different color than you.”

“Would you love me even if I were black?” Betty demanded.  She was standing now, with her hands on her hips.

“Good grief, woman!  Yes!  But you’re not black, you’re white.  And acting very green with envy that she got the seat first and you WEREN’T EVEN ON THE BUS!  So it shouldn’t MATTER!”

Just then, there was a timid knock on the door.  George and Betty both took a deep breath in and blew it out slowly, glaring at each other the whole time.  Then George smiled a fake smile at Betty; she smirked back.

“Which precious child is knocking?” Betty asked, forcing her voice to be sweet.

“Mama, it’s Linda.  Can I come in?”

“Of course, honey.  What’s wrong?”

Linda, a small girl with dark curls poked her head in.  “Are you fighting?  I’m scared.”

“We’re not really fighting, honey, we’re…” Betty turned to George.

“We’re having a disagreement.  About adult things.  Nothing for you to worry about, Linda, so go on back to bed.”

“Mama, will you tuck me back in?”

“Of course, dear.”

Betty took Linda’s hand and led her out of the room.  While she was gone, George paced the room, rubbing his chin. 

When Betty returned a short time later, George said, “The words coming from your mouth about Ms. Rosa Parks is hateful.  I will not tolerate that in this house.  We are a Christian family, and like Christ we will act.  Let’s pretend for a stupid minute that Negroes are inferior to whites.  Let’s pretend they’re less intelligent and capable.  If that is the case, then we should treat them with the same care and concern that you showed Linda just now.  Because that is what Jesus would do.

“I personally believe that they are not inferior.  And one day, there will be a Negro that will change the course of this nation.  For the better.  And I just hope I live to see that day.”

Betty blinked a few times.  Then she turned to finish getting ready for bed.  She mumbled something under her breath, which she refused to repeat when George asked what she had said.  I sure wouldn’t repeat it, either.

However, I watched that night as George fell asleep peacefully, and Betty lay there for a while, eyes wide open.  She stared at the ceiling, not moving.  What is she thinking? I wondered.

Some years later, Betty was singing a different tune. 

“Did you hear Dr. King’s speech on the radio?” she asked, as she and George were again getting ready for bed.  “My, that man can talk!  And he and the others certainly did ‘dramatize a shameful condition,’ didn’t they?  And I don’t believe the ‘bank of justice is bankrupt’ either, do you?  My, I sure thought it was. 

“I still can’t believe I used to be one of those whites who thought that I was better than the Negroes.  I mean, just think of Ms. Harriet White.  She’s the kindest woman I know, and she makes the most amazing bread I’ve ever eaten!  All while raising eight children – can you imagine?”

“No, I can’t,” George was finally able to answer.  He had gone about getting ready for bed while Betty talked.  After all these years of practice, he was pretty good at listening with half an ear.

“Well, I’m just glad I’m walking the ‘sunlit path of social justice’ now, anyhow.  I feel so much more free, and so much happier now when I see a Negro.  I know we can be friends, and I’m not nearly as afraid of them as I used to be.  Oh, now, don’t look at me like that.  I know now it was silly to be afraid of them.  Honestly, I don’t even know what I was afraid of.

“But I do know that I now share that dream with Dr. King.  I do hope that everyone can come to see that ‘all men are created equal.’” George and Betty slipped under the covers, and I felt in my joints that things were heading in the right direction, in the house and in the nation.  And for several years, I was right.

Here it comes!  My least-favorite holiday of the year: Valentine’s Day.  I hate that we need a holiday to remember to do something sweet for people we love.  I hate that it’s so ingrained in this culture that we have to celebrate it or our special someone will get flack for not ‘treating us’ on the ‘special day.’

Come on.

This is not what love is about.

God doesn’t need a special day to show us His love.  We can see that in the example of Jesus, as He served the people He was around over and over. 

We see one example of Jesus’s love in Luke 18.  Jesus had had a long day.  He was tired and wanted to rest.  Some parents wanted to bring their children to Jesus for His blessing and His disciples (friends, helpers) tried to make them leave.  But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God,” (Luke 18:16.)  And as a mother of young kids, I know how exhausting this can be even when you’re not already tired!

We see this as Jesus forgives a woman caught in adultery (considered an ultimate evil in that time) in John 8.  He had the right and the authority to stone her (throw large rocks at her until she died) but out of love, He refused.  (He also told her to go and sin no more, so please do not think He was condoning her actions!)

We see this as Jesus washed His disciples’ feet in John 13.  There were no cars in Jesus’s time.  People walked everywhere and it was hot and dusty.  People’s feet were pretty disgusting.  The washing of feet was a servant’s job, but Jesus knelt down and washed every single disciple’s foot.

And we ultimately see Jesus’s love on the cross.

The Roman crucifixion is where we get the word “excruciating” from.  When the Romans came up with the idea of nailing a person to two, splintery pieces of wood, the pain was so great that there were no words to explain it.  So they invented a new word.  In Latin, that word is ‘excruciatus,’ which means “to torture, to torment.”  And all of this was after He had been beaten by something at least akin to a cat of nine tails.

Then came the worst: Jesus took all our sin on Him.  Deuteronomy 21:23b says, “…anyone who is hung on a tree is under God’s curse.”  He took the curse for us.  In those days, Jews had to make a living sacrifice to become right with God – a life for a life.  Jesus came as the final, the ultimate sacrifice for us.

“About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?’ – which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’” (Matthew 27:46.)

God is so pure, He couldn’t even look on His own Son.  For the first time for all eternity, Jesus was cut off from His Father. 

When He rose from the dead, Jesus defeated death and the curse of sin.  We are now free to come to the Father because of Jesus’s sacrifice. 

This is what love looks like. 

Fortunately, we are rarely called to die for others, but by thinking of others first and by doing what is best for them before ourselves, that is how we, too, can live like Jesus did.

When asked what the greatest commandment is, “Jesus replied, ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” ‘” (Matthew 22:37 – 39.)

How can you love better?  I’m not just talking about your significant other, but also your friends, neighbors, strangers you interact with at the store…  If you are up for the challenge, I encourage you to start.  Now.  Not just because it’s Valentine’s Day, but because Jesus has called us to love others.

And I have a confession: I did get my husband a Valentine’s Day card.  Shhh! I don’t like Valentine’s Day, but I do love telling people how much I love them.

*** NEXT WEEK *** We resume “The Mirror” and will have no more interuptions until it is finished. Thank you for reading!

In my book Creative in COVID: Ideas for managing COVID Fatigue and staying connected with others during times of isolation, I said in chapter four:

“As important as it is to keep the children optimistic during this time, it’s just as important, maybe more so, to keep special times with your spouse.  It is harder than ever to find time alone because there are so many more questions to answer: Who is sheltering at home to the same degree we are to babysit?  Is the place we want to go on a date open?  Would it be safe to go to the place we want to go?  And the list goes on.

“However, it is so important to make this effort.  With all the additional stress of life, a marriage is likely to bend until it breaks.

“We often take our spouse for granted, just assuming he or she knows what’s going on in our heads, and that he or she understands.  A lot of times, they have no clue what we are thinking or feeling. We need to tell them, and a lot of times, it’s best when little ears aren’t around.”

When we moved to our current house, I was seven months pregnant with our first child.  We were an hour away from our closest family.  We didn’t know anyone well enough to ask them to babysit for us.  We quickly realized we’d have to get creative in carving out dates, so we came up with date nights in.  This has served us well during the COVID-19 pandemic, since we had already practiced!

As Valentine’s Day approaches, maybe you want to do things a little different this year, for whatever reason.  (Even if the excuse is “It’s too cold to go outside!”)

Here is a list of several date night in ideas, most of which we have done at least once, so they are proven to be fun!  Some of these I talked about in my book, some I haven’t.  Pick one, pick a few and have a Valentine month, or just get inspired from these and create your own date-night in!  Either way, I pray that you and your loved one have a fantastic time together!

(If you’re single, feel free to file these away for future use, or pass this link on to a friend who is married or dating.  Although… some of these you could definitely do for fun by yourself or with friends.)

1. Have a formal meal together

This can be a meal that you make together or a meal you order for delivery or carry-out.  Ladies, this can be a chance to dress up and show off that new dress you bought.  (Gentlemen, just grin and bear it, and focus on how pretty she is.)

Get out the nice tablecloth.  Light the candles.  Use the fine china. 

Or, eat on the couch with your carry-out while you watch your favorite show using paper plates.

Make it as elaborate or formal as you want, but make it special.

2. Walk down Memory Lane

Time to open up the old photo albums (or scroll through pictures of each other on social media.)  Read old journals that you kept, or letters and cards that you’ve exchanged through the years.  Just sit on the couch and reminisce about the past. 

Take time to remember why you fell in love to begin with.

3. Set up an indoor shooting range

My husband and I had a lot of fun with this one.  And the best part was that he didn’t know what I had planned!  He just knew we had a date night in on the calendar.  We put the kids to bed that night and I snuck into the bedroom to set up the date. 

When the room was ready, there were twenty disposable plastic cups in two pyramids, numbered 1-10, on the far side of the room.  Two identical Nerf dart guns sat closer to the door.

We quickly realized that just shooting down the cups was too easy, so we made shooting ‘obstacle courses’ for each other. 

And, yes, we shot each other.

4. Make kindness coupon for each other

Cut paper strips (choose your own quantity) and staple one end of them together (I recommend two staples, minimum.)  Then write things you are willing to do for your partner that you know would bless them, one on each slip of paper.  If you want to be fancy, add a cover. 

Then, exchange coupon books with each other.

Make sure you’re willing to live up to your end of the bargain.

5. Turn your living room into a movie theater

Pop some popcorn, have your favorite candy on standby, and put in a movie.  Maybe it’s a movie you both have wanted to see or maybe it’s an old favorite, but just snuggle together on the couch and enjoy the time together.

I really hope you enjoy these ideas.  I hope you’re able to make a special night for you and your loved one.

If you want a longer list of ideas, make sure you are part of my reader group before Monday night (February 7, 2022) because I’ll be sending out a list that includes these and 15 more ideas!  You can sign up by going to my homepage, and as an immediate thank-you for joining, you’ll get an in-depth character study of the woman who bled in the Bible in Mark 5.

Next week I’m going to talk about God’s love, then we’ll finish “The Mirror.” 

As always, thank you so much for reading!