On Monday, our entire family will finally be fully vaccinated against COVID-19.

I understand there is a lot of mixed feelings about the vaccine.

I know a lot of Christians have strongly disagreed with our decision to shelter-at-home until our kids are fully vaccinated, and that is okay. They are called to raise their families, and my husband and I are called to raise ours. We have made our decisions bathed in prayer. We have felt peace, despite persecution we have experienced, and we have seen God move – even while we’ve stayed at home.

I recently started a Bible Study from The Daily Grace called “Even If,” and it studies the book of Habakkuk. (You can check out the women’s study here, and the men’s study here. They are currently half off and these are not affiliate links – I get absolutely nothing if you check these out and buy one.)

Last night, I read the lesson on Habakkuk 2:2-5. Before I talk about it, let me show you the first five versus of Habakkuk (from the ESV version of the Bible) so you know where I’m coming from:

¹I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint.

²And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.

³“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

⁴“Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous will live by his faith.

⁵“Moreover, wine is an traitor, an arrogant man who is never at rest. His greed is as wide as Sheol; like death he has never enough. He gathers for himself all nations and collects as his own all people.”

I’m learning so much about Habakkuk from “Even If,” and I’m loving it, but the thing I want to point out from these verses is the fact that we don’t know how long Habakkuk had to wait between verses 1 and 2. Was it immediate? Was it years? Somewhere in between? Habakkuk had to wait, then he received a powerful answer.

Psalm 27:14 (ESV) says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

It can be so hard to wait.

Starting Monday, we are going to re-enter society, and as a period of waiting comes to a close, I wanted to take a little time to reflect on just a few things we have learned during the last 29 months as we have sheltered from home.

Personal Bible Study is Vital

I have always known how important personal Bible study is, but not having in-person Christian fellowship for 29 months has really driven this home for me.

I have had to make a point to keep myself immersed in God’s Word so I can keep growing. We did watch church virtually – and what a blessing! – but it is not the same as in-person teaching.

I have had to search out new Bible studies and biblical books, and in doing so, I have learned some things that challenged and even changed my beliefs (not my core beliefs, but little ways that I viewed some stories in the Bible.)

It has been a blessing to live in a nation when so many Christian resources are at my fingertips.

Through my personal Bible study, I have felt and seen God in new ways.

As other Christians pushed us away, I have felt God hold us close.

I have learned more about Elijah and Habakkuk and their periods of waiting. Those stories are becoming more and more alive to me.

I also had to fill myself up so I could fill my family up. I got to hear my then-two-year-old (now four-year-old) ask Jesus into her heart because she saw the chaos around us, the uncertainty of life, and how Jesus offers hope. (Quick note: I do understand she is young and has a lifetime of choices left to make. But what a great first step on her spiritual journey!)

I Have No Idea What Another Person is Going Through – Don’t Judge

I would like to say that I’ve always believed this, but after living against what most Christians believe was the “right” choice for 29 months I’ve seen firsthand how hurtful judgement can be.

At first, we didn’t talk about our children’s health issues because we didn’t want stigmas attached to them. We didn’t want one to be known as the kid who couldn’t breathe, or for people to treat this child differently. And we’re still not going into depth about the struggles for the most part.

People could only see that we weren’t going to church and judged us – hard. They were very hurtful and not Christ-like.

I admit that there were times at the start of the pandemic I thought, “If we all just stay home, then the virus will die out,” and I couldn’t understand why people wouldn’t stay at home. If everyone had sheltered-at-home from the start, maybe we wouldn’t have had to shelter-at-home for so long.

But as I prayed about it, God showed me that many Christians need to be in church. My and my family’s path is not their path. David was a man of war, but his son Solomon was a man of peace, and that is how God ordained it. God would not let David build the temple because of the blood on his hands, even though that was one of David’s greatest longings. It was not his path to walk.

I am absolutely NOT claiming that I am “good enough” to walk this path on my own. I will be the first to admit that these last years have been draining. I am spiritually exhausted. I have battled depression more than ever before. I have felt deeper loneliness than ever before. It is hard. And it is only by the grace of God that I have grown at all.

My path is not your path. I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know what God has called you to, but I do know (or at least have an idea) of what God has called me to. And that is all that matters – to obey God is my calling. And part of that calling is to love you and encourage you no matter what.

I’ve Chased My Dreams

I have always wanted to be a writer. Even while people around me strongly discouraged me, I couldn’t get it out of my system. (Quick shout-out to my super-supportive husband!)

During the pandemic, I’ve seen life change so suddenly it gives whiplash.

I don’t want to have regrets. I’ve started chasing my dreams and in the last two years, I have published three books and have two more in the works (hopefully to come out this year.) After those two books are out, I am going to start pursing writing books in my dream niche – Christian travel romance.

As a shy introvert, I really feel like I have stepped up recently and grabbed life by the horns. I have never felt more excited!

I’ve also started serving my community by starting a StoryWalk(R) for children and their families to enjoy. I probably would never have done this without needing something COVID-safe for my own kids to do outside of the house.

I’ve also started finding small things to celebrate. I want to teach my kids to find beauty and happiness no matter how hard life is. One of our favorite ways is to celebrate National Days. National Pizza Day? Let’s eat pizza all day! National Straw Day? We’re drinking out of straws all day. National Coloring Book Day? Grab the crayons!

Hard Does Not Mean Bad

The last 29 months have been hard. Very, very hard. But God has been faithful. I have seen good come from it.

Re-entering society will also be hard.

We will be stigmatized by what people see as “fear.” We will be told we didn’t “trust God to keep us healthy” and that we put “too much trust in science.”

We will probably get sick with a various of illnesses since we have been sheltering-at-home so long. We’ve done what we can by playing outside, eating Vitamin C-rich foods, taking vitamins, etc., but we know that we can only do so much.

Our children (and us, to some extent) will need to learn or re-learn social skills. Again, we have done what we can to teach them and prepare them, but there will still be a learning curve.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV) says, “But he [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ my rest upon me.”

To quote the Habakkuk Bible study, “The Christian life is characterized by waiting.”

We are about to end one season of waiting, but another wait is around the corner. Life will continue to be hard.

But God will continue to be faithful. He will continue to teach and guide. He will continue to hold me in His hand and love me.

This is what I must remember.

We will always be waiting for something, but God will always sustain us.